Day 168 Recovering from Steroid Damage

I had truly thought that I was over the worst of the withdrawal symptoms and then a huge flare came crashing down on me like a wave this weekend, leaving me floored, and back on the settee, exhausted. I am really surprised that I have had such an intense flare, at nearly 5 and a half months off the steroid creams. it is obvious to me now, that the damage done during my 15 years of steroid cream usage is going to take a long time to recover from. When I get a flare like this, I always hope it will be the last big flare before I heal.

My skin was "on the turn" yesterday, and I couldn't face going out, apart from taking my daughter to the cinema to see Beauty and the Beast (how ironic!). I didn't mind sitting in a dark cinema. Maybe I was hoping that, like the beast in the film, I might undergo a magical transformation and become beautiful again!

I had a good sleep, but when I woke up, my face looked like it had been slapped on my right cheek. The rest of my face was very dry and flaky. I could actually peel off big flakes of skin. I don't know whether to moisturise in case I am hypersensitive at the moment, so I am leaving it to recover without moisturisers. If the skin gets too bad, I will put a bit of hemp cream on it. My chest was weeping badly in the night and was soaking wet when I got up. It soon dried on contact with air. My neck is inflamed and both my face and neck feel as if i have been attacked with a blowtorch. My elbow flexures are tight, and stretching my arm hurts. My leg wounds are very oozy and I feel very tired, like I could fall asleep at any moment. This flare has hit hard.

It is hard to write this, because maybe someone reading it will think that steroid withdrawal is a waste of time. Here I am, over 5 months in and still flaring. However, this blog is my way of logging the whole withdrawal process, not to sugar coat it or make it sound easier or better than it is. If someone reads this and thinks I am crazy or misguided, that that is their opinion. If my experiences cause someone to conclude that steroid withdrawal is not for them, that that is also their choice. The blog is not about pushing my opinions on anyone, but I think that in years to come, when the truth about steroid addiction becomes more well known and mainstream, my experiences may help someone to make a considered decision about withdrawal. In my view, I had no other choice. the steroid creams were making my skin so thin that I could see the veins on my face and they were causing steroid rosacea. If I had continued using them, I would have needed more and more potent creams to get any improvement.

I am not anti steroid. Even Dr Rapaport prescribes steroid creams to his patients. However, I truly believe that steroid creams are over prescribed in the majority of cases and also overused by patients, such as myself. More should be done to encourage users to heed the warning leaflet inside the packaging about the appropriate length of time to use the creams.

My flares tend to be short these days, so I'm sure that this nasty one will pass in a few days.